Overall Highlights:

· HARDBALL!!!

· Star Wars Fans

· TV Funhouse

· The Vicente Fox/Al Sharpton commentary on Weekend Update

 

Overall Lowlights:

· Appalachian Emergency Room

· Weekend Update, of course

· Angry Italian Girlfriend

· Car Ride Home

· Fucking Bear City. THIS is what they close the season with???

· Overall, a weak season finale. No surprise for this year, but this didn’t even feel very season finale-ish or have any send-offs for any castmembers, which was disappointing because there are A LOT of castmembers who need to be leaving this summer.

 

 

CASTMEMBER COUNT DOWN:

ARMISEN: 5 sketches (Star Wars Fans / Appalachian Emergency Room / Weekend Update / Prince Show / Angry Italian Girlfriend)

DRATCH: 6 sketches (Woomba / America’s Next Top Model / Star Wars Fans / Appalachian Emergency Room / Weekend Update / Angry Italian Girlfriend)

FEY: 3 sketches (Woomba / America’s Next Top Model / Weekend Update)

FORTE: 4 sketches (Hardball with Chris Matthews / Star Wars Fans / Prince Show / Angry Italian Girlfriend)

HAMMOND: 5 sketches (Hardball with Chris Matthews / Star Wars Fans / TV Funhouse / Appalachian Emergency Room / Angry Italian Girlfriend)

MEYERS: 3 sketches (America’s Next Top Model / Star Wars Fans / Appalachian Emergency Room)

PARNELL: 5 sketches (Hardball with Chris Matthews / Star Wars Fans / Appalachian Emergency Room / Angry Italian Girlfriend / Car Ride Home)

POEHLER: 7 sketches (Monologue / Woomba / America’s Next Top Model / Star Wars Fans / TV Funhouse / Appalachian Emergency Room / Weekend Update)

RUDOLPH: 7 sketches (Hardball with Chris Matthews / Woomba / America’s Next Top Model / Appalachian Emergency Room / Weekend Update / Prince Show / Car Ride Home)

SANZ: 2 sketches (America’s Next Top Model / Angry Italian Girlfriend)

MITCHELL: 3 sketches (America’s Next Top Model / Star Wars Fans / Appalachian Emergency Room)

RIGGLE: 2 sketches (Star Wars Fans / Angry Italian Girlfriend)

SUDEIKIS: 1 sketch (Angry Italian Girlfriend)

THOMPSON: 5 sketches (Star Wars Fans / TV Funhouse / Appalachian Emergency Room / Weekend Update / Prince Show)

 

 

2004-2005 YEAR-IN REVIEW

 

Best Episodes:

1. Will Ferrell / Queens of the Stone Age

2. Luke Wilson / U2

3. Topher Grace / The Killers

4. Paul Giamatti / Ludacris featuring Sum 41

5. Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson

 

Worst Episodes:

1. Paris Hilton / Keane

2. Hilary Swank / 50 Cent

3. Kate Winslet / Eminem

4. Cameron Diaz / Green Day

5. Robert DeNiro / Destiny's Child

 

Best Hosts:

1. Will Ferrell

2. Paul Giamatti

3. David Spade

4. Jason Bateman

5. Ben Affleck

 

Worst Hosts:

1. Paris Hilton

2. Robert DeNiro

3. Tom Brady

4. Cameron Diaz

5. Kate Winslet

 

Best Sketches:

1. Celebrity Jeopardy

2. Hardball with Chris Matthews (from 01.15.05)

3. Jasper the Giant Parrot

4. All the various Donald Trump promo shoots

5. Merv the Perv’s High School Flashback

6. Condoleezza Rice Hearings

7. The American Trainwreck Awards

8. Sean Penn’s Celebrity Roast

9. The Best of T.T. & Mario

10. Rodney Dangerfield at Heaven’s Gate

 

Worst Sketches:

1. All the gay stereotype sketches

2. All the Kaitlin sketches

3. Tom Brady’s Falafel City

4. Marc Anthony & J.Lo after the Grammys

5. Office Push-Up Contest

6. Action News Crew

7. All the Maya Rudolph singing sketches (minus The Best of T.T. & Mario)

8. Sofa Warehouse

9. All the Starkisha sketches

10. All the Debbie Downer sketches

 

Best Cold Openings:

1. All the Hardball with Chris Matthews sketches

2. Will Ferrell Backstage

3. The Bush Twins after the Inauguration

4. New Osama Tape

5. nothing

 

Worst Cold Openings:

1. Michael Jackson in Neverland

2. Kim Jong Il press conference

3. A Message from Tom Delay

4. The Papal Debate

5. Dirty Terrorist Names

 

Best Monologues:

1. Paul Giamatti

2. Ben Affleck gets a talk from Alec Baldwin

3. Ashton Kutcher and the elderly Demi Moore

4. Johnny Knoxville’s week at SNL

5. Jason Bateman and Amy Poehler promote Arrested Development

 

Worst Monologues:

1. Kate Winslet

2. Queen Latifah sings with the Scat Cats

3. Paris Hilton’s dog talks to Kenan Thompson’s dog

4. Tom Brady showcases his talents

5. Luke Wilson’s day out with Horatio Sanz

 

Best Commercials:

1. Swift Boat Veterans

2. Excedrin for Racial Tension Headaches

3. me-Harmony.com

 

Worst Commercials:

1. Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice

2. Grayson Moorhead Investments

3. Cheapkids.net

 

Best TV Funhouse Cartoons:

1. Sexual Harassment and You

2. Michael Jackson

3. Shazzang

 

Worst TV Funhouse Cartoons:

1. Fun with Real Audio: John McCain

2. Bush’s Uniter machine

3. Santa skips the Red States

 

The Cast:

 

FRED ARMISEN

Best Performance: as Jasper (Jasper the Giant Parrot)

Runner-Up: as Tony Danza (The American Trainwreck Awards)

Worst Performance: as Billiam (Gays in Space)

 

 

RACHEL DRATCH

Best Performance: as Dot (Dot the Old Hooker)

Runner-Up: as cry coach (Seasons of Love)

Worst Performance: as Debbie Downer

 

 

TINA FEY

Best Performance: as Barbara Bush (The Bush Twins after the Inauguration)

Runner-Up: as Misty Peppers (Key Party)

Worst Performance: Weekend Update (from 02.19.05)

 

 

WILL FORTE

Best Performance: as Zell Miller (Hardball with Chris Matthews)

Runner-Up: as young Lorne Michaels (Weekend Update)

Worst Performance: as himself (Queen Latifah’s monologue)

 

 

DARRELL HAMMOND

Best Performance: as Donald Trump (various sketches)

Runner-Up: as Chris Matthews (Hardball with Chris Matthews)

Worst Performance: as John Travolta (Oprah)

 

 

SETH MEYERS

Best Performance: as Barry Shirtsworth (Action News 13)

Runner-Up: as Mr. J (Coolest Teacher at Benton Township High School)

Worst Performance: as Deaf Judge (Deaf Judge/Idiot Doctor)

 

 

CHRIS PARNELL

Best Performance: as Mervin Watson (Merv the Perv)

Runner-Up: as Simon (Public Speaking Class)

Worst Performance: as Thad (Gays in Space)

 

 

AMY POEHLER

Best Performance: as Barbara Boxer (Condoleezza Rice Hearings)

Runner-Up: as Sally Harrison (The Couple That Should Be Divorced)

Worst Performance: as Kaitlin (various sketches)

 

 

MAYA RUDOLPH

Best Performance: as Paris Hilton (Paris Hilton Apologizes)

Runner-Up: as woman at the bar (Jaguar Spokesperson)

Worst Performance: as Jennifer Lopez (Marc Anthony & J.Lo after the Grammys)

 

 

HORATIO SANZ

Best Performance: as Carol (Key Party)

Runner-Up: as Gino (Coolest Teacher at Benton Township High School)

Worst Performance: as Dennis DeYoung (Tom Brady’s Falafel City)

 

 

FINESSE MITCHELL

Best Performance: as Morgan Freeman (Weekend Update)

Runner-Up: as Donovan McNabb (various sketches)

Worst Performance: as Starkisha (various sketches)

 

 

ROB RIGGLE

Best Performance: as Leviticus (Weekend Update)

Runner-Up: as Howard Dean (Hardball with Chris Matthews)

Worst Performance: as father (Mother’s Day Brunch)

 

 

JASON SUDEIKIS

Obviously, it’s too early to really put anything for him…

 

 

KENAN THOMPSON

Best Performance: as Bill Cosby (various sketches)

Runner-Up: as Wilma McNabb (various sketches)

Worst Performance: as sofa delivery man (Sofa Warehouse)

 

 

 

And finally…

 

My List for Who Should Return Next Season In Case There Is (hopefully) an Overhaul:

Fred Armisen

Will Forte

Seth Meyers

Amy Poehler (as long as she’s as far away from the Update desk as possible)

Kenan Thompson

 

And possibly Rob Riggle and Jason Sudeikis, if the writers actually give them some funny roles for a change instead of basically using them as extras.

 

 

Hopefully, the 2005-2006 season will be a big improvement over this one, and I’ll go back to doing my full sketch-by-sketch reviews that I used to do.

 

 

See you next year.

Back to Season 30 (2004-05)