Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
March 15, 2003
(COLD OPENING) President Bush's press conference
Highlights:
- Good to see Parnell's Bush impression finally in a different setting from the boring behind-the-desk bits.
- The reporters and their questions were funny.
- Tina in a sketch!
Lowlights:
- Rachel as Helen Thomas kinda made me miss Ana Gasteyer.
Additional Notes:
- The frozen stone look on Jeff's face in the background during the entire sketch cracked me up for some reason.
- I'm surprised Jimmy didn't play the president of the Tom Cruise Fan Club, since he did a Tom Cruise impression before.
- Tracy in that wig made him look like his Woodrow character.
(MONOLOGUE) The male cast sings "We Belong" to Salma Hayek
Highlights:
- Edward Norton's cameo.
- The guys looked hilarious dressed in those 80's outfits, especially Tracy.
Lowlights:
- Not that funny; they've already done the "male castmembers try to impress the female host" monologue way too many times before.
Additional Notes:
- At first, I thought that was Seth under that costume, not Edward Norton. Speaking of which, I'm surprised he hasn't hosted yet.
(SKETCH) "Top O' The Morning"
Highlights:
- The viper on the jukebox.
- The "Irish bone in her body" joke.
Lowlights:
- This sketch was more acceptable when it was kept in the post-Update slot. I don't think it's gotten good enough yet to be pushed all the way up to right after the monologue.
- The midget/leprechaun bit fell flat.
Additional Notes:
- None.
(TV FUNHOUSE) "Are You Hot?"
Highlights:
- Smigel makes up for his lackluster return last week with this. A great "Are You Hot" parody and the various classic cartoon characters were hilarious.
Lowlights:
- The ending was dumb.
Additional Notes:
- Smigel actually got the real Lorenzo Lamas to do his own voice-over. I guess if Smigel could get Jared Fogel to do his own voice-over in one cartoon, he can get anybody.
(SKETCH) "Versace Oscar Fashion Preview"
Highlights:
- Dean's Michael Jackson impression.
- Versace's outfit at the end was funny.
Lowlights:
- The rest was weak, and not up to the level of the Versace's from last season.
Additional Notes:
- None.
(NEXT LIVE EPISODE) April 5, 2003: Bernie Mac
He's very funny, so I have high expectations for this. Wow, two black hosts in the same season. I think this is the first time this has happened since 1994-95.
(SKETCH) Jealous husband in a box
Highlights:
- A strange but good premise. Yet another "bizarre Forte sketch". He's wonderful at these.
- Jimmy beating up the box was hilarious.
Lowlights:
- None.
Additional Notes:
- I remember reading in one of Jamie Klein's episode reviews that this sketch got cut from a recent episode.
(COMMERCIAL) Vote Frida
Highlights:
- Nice to see the host in the pre-recorded commercial.
Lowlights:
- Nothing special. I could've done without this.
Additional Notes:
- None.
(MUSICAL PERFORMANCE)
No comment.
(WEEKEND UPDATE) Fallon & Fey, Fericito & Lupe, Avril Lavigne, Gollum
Highlights:
- Tina's Freedom Kissing joke.
- The "Jimmy and Tina Yelling at America" rant. That's the classic Jimmy & Tina that this season's Updates need more of.
- Fericito! I love this character, and it's good to see it back again after hearing it got cut a lot of times since the John McCain episode. Salma was also a good addition as Fericito's wife.
- Amy was hilarious as Avril Lavigne.
- Tina's All My Children joke.
- Jimmy's guitar songs are good.
Lowlights:
- Tina's farmhouse joke.
- The Gollum segment was nothing but a recycled bit from the Superbowl special.
Additional Notes:
- Tonight, the end-of-Update cameo guy comes out in baggy clothes and takes Jimmy's pencil. Possibly the funniest cameo from him yet.
(SKETCH) Seduction Class
Highlights:
- Fred was hilarious and stole the whole sketch.
- Salma's cleavage ;)
Lowlights:
- Dead in some spots.
- Salma's voice got really annoying.
Additional Notes:
- Horatio seems to play this Vasquez character in different settings each time. First in Will Ferrell's patriotic thong sketch, then Community Accents, and now this.
(COMMERCIAL) Vote Frida, Fight Terrorism
Read the previous one.
(SKETCH) Original director's cut of "King Kong"
Highlights:
- A funny premise, and much better than that disastrous King Kong sketch from the Drew Barrymore episode.
Lowlights:
- The ending could've been funnier.
Additional Notes:
- The "Channel 5 Late Night Movie" opening was also used for Radioactive Bear in the Robert DeNiro episode.
(MUSICAL PERFORMANCE)
No comment.
(COMMERCIAL) Vote Frida
Highlights:
- The Richard Gere and Renee Zellweger cracks at the beginning.
Lowlights:
- The rest was the same old stuff as the last two.
Additional Notes:
- None.
_______________________________________________________
Overall Highlights of Tonight's Episode:
- Cold Opening.
- TV Funhouse.
- Jealous Husband in a Box.
- Weekend Update. Take the Gollum segment out, and we have probably the first Update of the season (other than the Superbowl special) that's up to the level of the best Updates from the last 2 seasons.
- Fred in Seduction Class.
Overall Lowlights:
- Monologue.
- Versace Oscar Fashion Preview.
- Gollum on Weekend Update.
- Salma's voice in Seduction Class.
- Vote Frida ads.
Funniest Moment:
- Jimmy beating up Forte in the box.
Best Lines:
- Will Forte as reporter Kevin Miller: "Kevin Miller, online masturbator dating service. Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone, and if so, is there a match for a man like Saddam Hussein?"
Chris Parnell as George W. Bush: "Kevin, I believe there is a match for everyone. However, until Saddam Hussein learns to be honest with himself, he will never have a successful relationship."
- Horatio Sanz as chubby guy from Ain't it Cool News: "I have a serious question. How kick-ass is the new Matrix trailer?"
Chris Parnell as George W. Bush: "It is the opinion of this administration that it is totally kick-ass."
- Jimmy Fallon as Patrick Fitzwilliam: "There's a bloody viper wrapped around the jukebox. He keeps playing "Crocodile Rock", I can't take it anymore!"
- Salma Hayek as Rosa: "'Can't hold our liquor'?! Hey, I'm Mexican - I piss lighter fluid."
- Tina Fey: "In protest to France's opposition to a U.S. war in Iraq, the U.S. congress' cafeteria has changed French Fries and French Toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast. Afterwards, the congressmen were so pleased with themselves, they all started Freedom Kissing each other."
- Horatio Sanz as Vasquez: "Why don't you come back to my place and make some macaroni and cheeses? Then we can watch Cartoon Network, and you can rub my feets."
CASTMEMBER COUNT DOWN:
DRATCH: 2 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Seduction Class)
FALLON: 5 sketches (Monologue; Top O' The Morning; Jealous husband in a box; Weekend Update; Original director's cut of "King Kong")
FEY: 2 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Weekend Update)
HAMMOND: 2 sketches (Top O' The Morning; Original director's cut of "King Kong")
KATTAN: 2 sketches (Monologue; Weekend Update)
MORGAN: 4 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Monologue; Seduction Class; Original director's cut of "King Kong")
PARNELL: 5 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Monologue; TV Funhouse; Vote Frida #1; Vote Frida #2)
POEHLER: 3 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Versace Oscar Fashion Preview; Weekend Update)
RUDOLPH: 2 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Versace Oscar Fashion Preview)
SANZ: 5 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Monologue; Top O' The Morning; Seduction Class; Original director's cut of "King Kong")
ARMISEN: 5 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Monologue; Versace Oscar Fashion Preview; Weekend Update; Seduction Class)
EDWARDS: 2 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Versace Oscar Fashion Preview)
FORTE: 3 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Monologue; Jealous husband in a box)
MEYERS: 2 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Top O' The Morning)
RICHARDS: 2 sketches (President Bush's press conference; Monologue)
Jimmy, Horatio, and Fred were the main castmembers of the night. After being used a lot last week, Darrell goes back to suffering from Hartman-and-Nealon-Syndrome (i.e. long-time veterans not having anything left to do in their last season). Parnell YET AGAIN had more voice-overs than actual appearances. I keep pointing this out because although he indeed has a great and unique announcer's voice, he's an even better performer and should have much more appearances than voice-overs. If you do a count of all his sketches from this season so far, I bet half of them are only voice-overs. And this is the first in a long time where Maya had this little amount of sketches in an episode.
Also, there was a How Do You Say Ah Yes Show sketch shown in the pre-show promo (with Fred added in as a band member with Jimmy and Darrell). I never liked that sketch before, so I'm glad it got cut.
And that's all for now. Thanks for reading. ADIOS.