Colin Firth / Norah Jones
March 6, 2004

(COLD OPENING) "Nightline"

Highlights:

-- Kenan's character and several of his comments.

-- Forte's bitch talk.

-- Horatio as Rosie.

-- Ana Gasteyer's cameo as Martha Stewart. I was afraid that we would have to put up with Amy's weak Martha impression again, so it's great that Ana came back for this.

Lowlights:

-- None.

Grade: A

(MONOLOGUE) Colin Firth meets Shakespearean castmembers

Highlights:

-- Maya's comment about SNL rarely getting actors to host these days and the Ian McKellan joke.

-- Rachel's part.

-- Seth's Hugh Grant impression.

-- The panties in Seth's jacket turning out to be Amy's.

Lowlights:

-- None.

Grade: B

(SKETCH) Bad accent during filming

Highlights:

-- Rachel with the bullhorn.

-- Colin's bad accent.

-- Seth as the gay voice coach.

-- Parnell's Chinese accent.

Lowlights:

-- The ending was weak.

Grade: B

(NEXT WEEK) March 13, 2004: Ben Affleck

-- I loved his last episode and he was a great host, so I'm looking forward to seeing him hosting again.

(SKETCH) "Show Biz Grande Explosion"

Highlights:

-- Fericito! I love this character and it's good to see him back again and finally in his own sketch.

-- Horatio as the bandleader.

-- The parody of Jay Leno's Headlines.

-- Fred and Horatio not finding Colin's jokes first few jokes funny.

Lowlights:

-- None.

Grade: B+

(TV FUNHOUSE) Censored cartoons from the FCC

Highlights:

-- The blurring out in the classic cartoon clips.

-- Bush's face being blurred out during the presidential address clip.

-- The Daffy Duck/Bugs Bunny parody with Howard Stern at the end.

Lowlights:

-- None.

Grade: A-

(SKETCH) Tim Calhoun in court

Highlights:

-- Tim Calhoun! First Fericito and now Tim Calhoun in his own sketch? Strange how Fred and Forte's debut characters from last season who usually only appear on Weekend Update are both finally in their own sketch on the same night. Good to see SNL trying new things with these characters.

-- Forte's performance as Tim Calhoun was hilarious as usual.

-- The taped message.

Lowlights:

-- None.

Grade: A

(MUSICAL PERFORMANCE)

-- Did Colin just say "Laura" Jones?

(WEEKEND UPDATE) Fallon & Fey, Maya Rudolph, Peter Jackson & Elijah Wood, Bill Clinton

Highlights:

-- Jimmy's Peter Jackson joke.

-- Jimmy's first Passion of the Christ joke.

-- The shirtless, fat lady running behind Maya.

-- Rachel was hilarious as Elijah Wood. I always noticed before that she and Elijah look kinda alike and I'm surprised they didn't make fun of it when Elijah hosted earlier this season.

-- Tina's Jessica Simpson joke.

-- The segment with Darrell as Clinton, especially the comments about Howard Dean.

Lowlights:

-- Tina's Martha Stewart jokes.

-- The rest of the Martha Stewart Riots segment.

-- Other than Rachel as Elijah, the Peter Jackson segment was weak.

-- Tina's Atkins joke.

Grade: B-

(SKETCH) Horny hotel workers

Highlights:

-- Kenan as the bellhop.

-- The dancing towards the end.

-- The ending with Seth and Fred.

Lowlights:

-- The audience was pretty dead during this.

Grade: B-

(SKETCH) "Meet the Press"

Highlights:

-- The opening bit with Forte as John Edwards blow-drying and showing off his hair.

-- The "mean" campaign ads.

Lowlights:

-- Not as funny as the last "Meet the Press" sketch with John McCain.

Grade: B

(SKETCH) "The Sopranos"

Highlights:

-- A good parody on the lack of new Sopranos episodes.

-- Jimmy as the E-Street Band guy.

Lowlights:

-- None.

Misc. Comments & Observations:

-- At first, I thought this was going to be like the Sopranos commercial from the Freddie Prinze Jr. episode with Parnell as the voice-over reading newspaper reviews of the show.

Grade: B

(MUSICAL PERFORMANCE)

-- No comment.

(SKETCH) Jesus: Hollywood vs. History

Highlights:

-- A funny idea and the Benny Hill parody was dead-on.

Lowlights:

-- None.

Grade: A-

_________________________________________________

Overall Episode Grade: B

Overall Highlights:

-- Nightline.

-- Ana Gasteyer's cameo as Martha Stewart.

-- Show Biz Grande Explosion.

-- TV Funhouse.

-- Tim Calhoun in court.

-- Bill Clinton on Weekend Update.

-- Jimmy as the E-Street Band guy in The Sopranos.

-- Jesus: Hollywood vs. History.

Overall Lowlights:

-- The ending of Bad accent during filming.

-- The Free Martha segment on Weekend Update.

-- The Peter Jackson segment on Weekend Update.

Funniest Single Moment:

-- The censored clips in TV Funhouse.

Best Lines:

-- Darrell Hammond as Ted Koppel: "Ms. O'Donnell, where were you when you heard the verdict?"

Horatio Sanz as Rosie O'Donnell: "I was in New Mexico officiating a lesbian bris."

-- Horatio Sanz as Rosie O'Donnell: "I'm starting a cruise line exclusively for persecuted female billionaires and their same-sex spouses."

Darrell Hammond as Ted Koppel: "What does that even mean?"

Horatio Sanz as Rosie O'Donnell: "It means I bought a boat."

-- Ana Gasteyer as Martha Stewart: "I'm Martha Stewart and I'm on a boatload of anti-anxiety medication right now. It's a good thing."

-- Darrell Hammond as Ted Koppel: "A Blanket Party is a prison term for throwing a blanket over a squealer's head so he can't identify you when you beat him with a pipe."

Ana Gasteyer as Martha Stewart: "I've been doing that for years. I didn't know there was a name for it."

-- Maya Rudolph: "I tried to get Ian McKellan to do Shakespeare with me, but he would only talk to Jimmy and Kylie Minogue."

-- Rachel Dratch: "I've just always had a fantasy of wearing some corset things and going to town on some English dude."

-- Jimmy Fallon: "The Passion of the Christ was the #1 movie at the box office, earning $117 million since its opening last Wednesday. What's more, I heard Jesus is now dating J.Lo."

-- Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton: "[John Edwards] might have sex in the Oval Office, but he'd probably do it in the missionary position -- with his wife. What a waste that would be."

-- Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton: "Support a Kerry/Clinton ticket. I'll put the 'vice' back in vice president."

-- Maya Rudolph as announcer: "Coming up next on History Channel, The History of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

CASTMEMBER COUNT DOWN

DRATCH: 3 sketches (1: Colin Firth meets Shakespearean castmembers; 2: Bad accent during filming; 3: Weekend Update)

FALLON: 3 sketches (1: Bad accent during filming; 2: Weekend Update; 3: The Sopranos)

FEY: 1 sketch (1: Weekend Update)

FORTE: 5 sketches (1: Nightline; 2: Tim Calhoun in court; 3: Meet the Press; 4: The Sopranos; 5: Jesus: Hollywood vs. History)

HAMMOND: 4 sketches (1: Nightline; 2: Weekend Update; 3: Meet the Press; 4: The Sopranos)

MEYERS: 4 sketches (1: Colin Firth meets Shakespearean castmembers; 2: Bad accent during filming; 3: Horny hotel workers; 4: The Sopranos)

PARNELL: 4 sketches (1: Bad accent during filming; 2: Tim Calhoun in court; 3: Horny hotel workers; 4: The Sopranos)

POEHLER: 5 sketches (1: Colin Firth meets Shakespearean castmembers; 2: Bad accent during filming; 3: Weekend Update; 4: Meet the Press; 5: The Sopranos)

RUDOLPH: 3 sketches (1: Colin Firth meets Shakespearean castmembers; 2: Weekend Update; 3: Jesus: Hollywood vs. History)

SANZ: 5 sketches (1: Nightline; 2: Show Biz Grande Explosion; 3: Weekend Update; 4: Horny hotel workers; 5: The Sopranos)

ARMISEN: 2 sketches (1: Show Biz Grande Explosion; 2: Horny hotel workers)

MITCHELL: 1 sketch (1: Bad accent during filming)

THOMPSON: 3 sketches (1: Nightline; 2: Horny hotel workers; 3: The Sopranos)

Forte and Darrell were the stars of the night.

BOA NOITE.

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